The Story of ME

The story of My Life....find joy in difficult tyms..... laugh at wateva happens to u n u'l neva run out of things to laugh at..... find the best in life when u r goin thru the worst.... u
suffer because you know wat joy is n u appreciate happiness cos u've suffered.... okay, so u might wonder why im saying (writing) random philosophical stuff.... here's the thing, these are the few things that keep me alive... i cry everyday n
inspite of it all i manage a smile... it makes my day.... so wat everyone has problems... mine cant b nethin compared to the problem that ppl face.....but im here to share a few things.... i goof up all the tym... i always find myself in one mess or the other... i always ask God why things happen to me always...like my life is ****ed up.... lyk seriously....I'm in love.... my relationship status is complicated.... but then there has to b some complication or it wont b a relationship.... the boat does not always sail
smoothly... i kno that.... I'm in love with my dad's friend.... yea i kno.... his lyf is complicated as well.... he was married quite sometym back n divorced n went away with another gurl
who was already married.... why do we always fall for the worst of 'em all.... but noooo..... he is the best of em all..... i kno his past is not very nice n am a
total idiot to b with him but i fell in love before i knew these things.... exactly.... so yeah... it all started when i was in class 11.... when i was in class 11 i'd
known him for quite a few years.... then i started admiring him.... for wateva he was.... or mayb for wateva i assumed he was.... i was secretly crushing on him
before i knew it.... then i distracted myself by gettin into another relationship with another very good looking guy.... he was okay.... n we were okay til my
parents found out..... there were lotsa complications n i tried to make it work.... n then i realised i din wan to b with him nor did i love him n i was only trying
to fool myself.... the truth is you understand what you really want only when u suffer for something you dont want.... you dont want to suffer.... so this is wen
my man interfered.... i started talkin to him a lot in class 12. i was talkin to him to get relationship advice..... i loved him even more (unconsciously ofcourse).
then when there was hardly 3 months for my board exams, things started fallin into place (or so i thot). i spoke to him on new year's eve n fought with him n
then made up with him... then we started mailing each other n then he came to visit me (he was in a different city). he stayed in my room since my grandmum
was in town n she was using the guest room... i spent a lot of tym with him under the pretence that i had to go to the room (it s my room afterall). we jus
spoke random stuff. after he left, we started chattin online a lot.... ne spare tym i was online talkin to him... i always thanked the internet for that... i stopped
concentrating on my studies (not that i ever did otherwise). but he insisted that i study. he visited me twice more b4 my mum found me sneakin to his room at
3 in the mornin.... gawd, i know... it was horrible. i just told her i had to get some stuff but she wasn convinced.... shrewd woman my mum.... oh my mum is
not the best mother.... she might've done things with best intentions but well it din work out.... she was neva really nice to... ryt from the tym i cud remember...
she went the wrong way abt bringing me up... weneva she did something horrible to me, i used to think,,,, mum if u do this im neva gonna learn...wat?? i was
rebellious.... she made me rebellious... n i had no idea wat evolution meant till i was in class 8... actually i had no idea wat a lotta things meant... even now i
hav a lotta things to learn... we all do....ok random...c the thing with my mum is she s a politician.... exactly.... my dad is a total sweetheart.... oh well he is not
perfect either,,, he has an affair with a t.v artist..... gawd,,,,, now u c wat i mean wen my life s truly fucked up?
ok, now i'l begin with my mum n dad.... my dad din wanna get married but then his mum made an arrangement to meet my mother... wen my dad first met
her, he thot she was okay n so they got married... i think it was a few years or so b4 they got married n they used to hang out together n stuff b4 gettin
married. my mum was frm a different city, so after they got engaged she came to my dad's city n lived in a hostel for i think a few years or so to do her
studies... so they knew each other pretty well n my dad cud'v pulled out if he din like her. but he did lyk her... not til after they were married did my dad find
out things n qualities that he din like.... so finally they had my brother n me. Oh my brother is total prick,, he s 2 yrs older than me n acts like he owns the
world.... then my mum got into politics n my parents din get along well.... my dad did his best but my mum is an arrogant lady n she has to have her own
way... she has done things that no woman wud do... like taking off her thali (equal to a wedding ring) n throwing it at my dad... she is not a good daughter nor
a good wife n not a good mother certainly.... actually now she s okay. her arrogance has gone down,,,, but wen i was still doing my school,,, it was a total
nightmare.... i din want to b around her.... i talked my dad into sending me off to boarding school. i was supposed to go to the American school (kodai
international) in kodaikanal or St.Peter's which was equally good but my mum ruined evcerything n made me go to a private school which was bloody strict
and was supposed to produce brilliant results in the boards.... i stayed there for 4 days,,, with my dad staying in the local government guest house... but i
finally somehow got back to my old school.... i would like to thank my stars who are my 3 best frens Conney, Caroline & Beverly cos without them i wudn
have survived my higher secondary.... my mum was always horrible n my frens stuck with me thru her shit... my frens n i went to kodai for a few days with my
mum....we have a house there.... we had amazing fun.... but after we came back things started turning upside down.... my mum told me i cant have any
friends..... once wen i had gone to Conney's new house for house warming, without telling my mum ofcourse, she somehow found out n she blasted me,,,, she
called Beverly's mum n screamed at her.... Beverly n Caro are twins and their mum is really amazing... the funniest thing s my mum n their mum share the
same birth date... Beverly's mum din appreciate my company nemore n i cudn hang around their place after that....but Bev n Caro wer stars n they din lemme
down.... My mum din even want me to invite them for my next birthday....i felt horrible for being born in this family......
N wen 'My Man' came in i felt like the luckiest person on earth.... i thot n still think he s the best thing to ever happen to me..... finally we accepted our love
wen he came down 2 my place on january 10.... that was wen he told me he loved me n i told him i loved him as well... i was confused n askd him if wat we
wer doin wasn wrong.... he told me it might b very unusual but it wud b very wrong to not share the love.... he said he cud not help falling in love with me n
he is not ashamed to accept the way he felt towards me.....naturally, i melted..... we kissed n it was the best kiss ever.... i thot i wud die of pleasure but only
now do i realise that we take guilty pleasure in doing forbidden things.... like the forbidden fruit.... its two years now n we are still together... i still love him
the same way actually even more than i used to love him.... 3 months into our relationship he told me abt his past (sensored version ofcourse) n i thot i was
lucky because he was honest enough to tell me the truth n i'd rather he was the one to tel me than somebody else.... he told me he'l understand if i din love
me nemore,,, how can i not love him?? although now it seems like a trick every guy wud use to keep the girl.... i moved to his city as in i went to college
there...actually im still in college there. it wasn easy, my mum wudn let me go n she only wanted me to do engineering n i wanted to do pilot training. but
then because of wat was happening i decided to get a basic arts degree first.So now im doing my Bachelors in English. Oh no...! jus cos im doin English don
expect me to use big words...i cant cos honestly i don kno any. As soon as i joined the college i stayed in the college hostel ni went out to meet him almost
every day. While all my frens wer out partying n chilling, i spent every spare moment with him or talkin to him on the fone or thinking abt him. i din realise i
was missin out on so much. All i ever knew was him. but things weren that easy. we fought every single day. Obviously it was about the girl he lives with n
has two kids with... no they are not married... they jus live-in together. He told me that they din commit nething from each other n the babies happened cos
they wer livin under the same roof.Now his version of his past,,,, he was dating some chic n they wer steady for 4 years...this female who he s with now was her best friend (i kno,,, its even more
lame than the O.C,, atleast O.C was interesting) so after four years he started goin aroun with his girlfren's best friend. Then her parents came to kno n there
was a lot of problems. Then apparently he got married out of compulsion n he n his wife din get along... so he divorced her n lived on his own for two years...
by the tym this female also got married to someone else n she wasn happy cos her husband was not treating her well..... so out of the blue she came to him n
asked him to take her in with him... so he did cos he din have nething else to do in life. he conviniently forgot to mention to me that the girl he was married
to was not some random girl,,, he was in love with her n only after that did he start goin around with this other female...so jus a few days before the wedding
he had thrown a fuss n said that he din wan2 get married to her. Gawd,,, im crying... its weird to put it down in words like this.... i mean it sounds even more
worse than it had seemed before. so yea, his people forced him into it at the end.... he wasn divorced for two years,,, his wife lived with his mother. but he
just left her n ran away with this other female. they lived in different places for a few months n then came back... his wife din even know he was still with her
til that female had his baby.... Jesus,, help me thru this.... only after he had the child did his wife give him divorce. The other female had concieved earlier as
well wen they had run away but the baby was aborted naturally because she was weak. I guess it must'v been hell with the girls family... actually they had run
away thrice before the girl came back to him for good.... My lovely Man forgot to mention these tiny details to me.... n after a year into our relationship he told
me he was moving out n that he was goin to live in his mother's house. We meet in his mother's house al the tym cos the risk quotient is high for us to b
spotted together outside. i used to sneak out of my grandmum's house to meet him n one nyt wen i went there for my first weekend after joining the hostel, i
sneaked out n got caught.... i got screwed royally.... my mum n dad wer shocked n they wanted me to get back home... after a lot of talkin i managed to stay.
then 4 months later we had gone to a beach resort for lunch n one of that female's friend saw us together n told her.... she kept calling him n he pretended to
not kno wat she was talikn abt,,, we lefty the place in a hurry, the food untouched... on the way back he asked me to plug in my ipod n not listen to a word
he was sayin on the fone.... i obediently did so.... he was on the fone talkin to her al the tym, probably sayin he loved her n no body else n he wudn hav
dreamed of cheating on her, n i was obediently listening to random songs in full blast with no idea of wat he was upto.... thats how much i trust him.... i drank
up every word he told me.... every nyt i used to cry of guilt... the way i was doing wrong to that female n shattering my father's trust.but at the end of it al i'd
think im doin this cos i love him n this is wat i want... thats me.... id do nething if i want something. if i want it i want it, fullstop. but being human i cud not
hide from my own consciouness n guilt.... so i cried.... many tyms wen i tried to tell him how i felt he did not even want to listen n he wud fight with me n
switch off his fone n not call me for days... i'd sit in the hostel n cry al the tym.... only then did i understand wat pain really meant.... wen i think of my school
days, i wan2 laugh...my school days wer the best days of my life... i'd giv nething to go back..... neways comin bac to the present, a few month s after the
beach resort incident i went n stayed with him for two days in his mum's house. no one knew ofcourse. i had told the warden i was goin home... i thot of that
place as home cos he sweared to me that i was the first gurl he wanted to take to his childhood home. he said i was the only one with whom he wanted to
share his happy childhood memories.... n then those two days he was there with me for sometym n he wud leave me n go for hours... the 2nd day he went out
at 11 n din come bac til 5.... i din want to spend tym with the house. i wanted to b with him. n wen i told him so n askd him wat he had been upto, he was
furious n told me i din hav to stay cos i din trust him. so i told him fine i'l go out with one of my guy frens to the iit college festival's dance nyt... he got
furious n he drove me to the college n literally tried to throw me out of the car... i cried a lot n he took me bac home, on the way he told me tat i cud not get
away with everything n he'l cut me to size. stung by his words i got out of the car in the middle of the road (without slippers) n walked to some random
place... stuck in the traffic he cudn find me... he kept callin n i din answer... finally wen i answered he yelled at me n askd me wer i was... wen i told him he
came n picked me up n tried to drop me at my friend's place.... i pleaded with him n told him that i din wanna go newhr n cudn handle nething n i wanted to
go sleep... finally he took me bac home n left me there alone the whole nyt n went off somewhr... i drank a bottle of beer n went to sleep. as it happens he
told me he went to his aunt's place n stayed the nyt there n promised me he din go to that female's place. as it happens that female's friend had seen him at a
commercial centre whr we usually hang n had told her.. she cald him n pestered him cos he was supsd to b out of town,,, so after he left me in his mother's
place he went of to cuddle with her for the nyt.oh ni forgot to mention it was her birthday as well(i din kno then). the next day my parents found out n i once
again fucked. they din kno i was with him, but stil i was out for two days n nobody knew whr i was. my parents still don know whr i was.i felt really guilty for
putting my parents thru all this... but i was still smitten by him,.... lyk completely.... the thing is if he jus wanted to hav a ball with me he wud'v dumped or left
me wen i told him i wanted to end the relationship.... i broke up with him many tyms but he neva let go of me. We wer stil together,,,,, this s wat makes me think that he really loves me even though he really loved a lot of people before....somewhr below all this unpleasantness, somewhr deep down, i believe he truly loves me....but wateva it is i kno i love him and tats wat matters to me...
Oh no,,, its not over yet.... im not done... this is only jus the begining... jus the briefing of the situation.... u think this s bad?? trust me, it gets worse.... if u want me to continue, pls leave in ur comments... im not ready for advices n its not lyk i listen to advice neway,,, if i did i wud'v been in a different person...pls don b judgemental....im not n tats why im still in love.... but pls b honest with me n say wat u think.... i've a lot more to say....